How can a woman love herself?

Many women, even strong and independent, happy with life, career and family, sooner or later come to the conclusion that they lack one small detail for complete happiness, namely love for themselves. In the twenty-first century, loving yourself is more important than ever. Self-esteem and gratitude to oneself is an engine of success and a fundamental factor in happiness. But it is not enough to realize this need, you still need to understand what to do in order to love yourself and become happy.

Why do you need to love yourself?

It is not without reason that they say that until we learn to love ourselves, we will not be able to love others. In the modern world, there are a lot of people who cannot understand themselves in any way and act completely illogical in relation to other people. From such people, their eyes, words and gestures, you can immediately see how they are at peace with themselves, and, in truth, they want to stay away from them, and much less often - to help them.

Loving yourself, especially a girl, is important and necessary, if only because:

• A woman who does not love herself will not be able to build strong relationships and will not learn to love a man;
• You can be at peace with others only by being at peace with yourself;
• The woman who loves, takes care of herself and takes care of herself is always paid attention by others;
• Without loving yourself, it is impossible to take care of yourself and keep in good shape;
• Self-hostility entails a number of psychological problems;
• Psychological problems caused by low self-esteem due to self-dislike can lead to a nervous breakdown, depression and even suicide.

In the lives of many women, the word "must" is higher than the word "want." Of course, there should be a rational framework, but what would Cinderella achieve if it had not once set “I want” higher than “necessary” in my life? It doesn’t matter what your goal is to marry the prince, keep the one you are already married with, or just stop turning away every morning as you walk past the mirror. You need to love yourself for many purposes and to learn this is actually not difficult.

Reasons for dislike of yourself

As with many self-development and problem-solving techniques, understanding the cause is the first step on the road to success. It is important to understand why you do not have a special love for yourself in order to work with it correctly. The reasons for dislike can be different and most often purely individual, but basically they are divided into categories such as:

• Rooted in childhood. Yes, childhood is the first place to seek out grievances of discontent. Parenting is as responsible as laying the foundation for the home. Only if in construction there is strict control, GOST and cross-checks, then a certain percentage of parents, unfortunately, brings up children not in the best way.Adopted from the previous generation, the experience of educating with a belt and indicating the “proper place” often affects the self-esteem of an adult in a negative way. Think about how you were treated as a child, maybe then everything went awry.
• Imposed by others. Starting from school and ending with work, we daily encounter a variety of people whose degree of influence on us is directly proportional to our attitude towards them. The more important a person’s opinion of us is, the more painful his disapproval will be, and people come across different and among them there are envious and negatively inclined towards those who surpass them in something. Therefore, the reason for low self-esteem should not always be sought inside, sometimes you need to look around.
• Caused by life circumstances. A series of bad events, several gross life mistakes, incorrect conclusions - all this can undermine even a strong person. By analyzing the latest events of your life, you can list the negative incidents that have affected your self-esteem, and if you try to let them go and make peace, fix it.
• Caused by complexes. The reason for the appearance of the complexes is a separate conversation, however, the very fact of their presence may cover the problem of insufficient self-esteem. Women are slightly more likely than men to suffer from complexes, especially physical ones, and this makes it difficult to come to terms with the phrase “Love yourself the way you are.” However, it is necessary to get rid of them, and the recognition of their presence is already a serious step.

Of course, besides the above, there may be other reasons known only to you. If you want to love yourself, it’s not enough to try to make it all available, falling under the recommendations of psychologists, you also need to correctly understand the reason why you do not succeed.

Read books about improving self-esteem, take tests or consult a specialist psychologist in order to dot the i, and it will become much easier to work on self-love.

Psychologists advice on how to love yourself

Go to any bookstore, find a shelf with psychological books - among them lies a whole bunch of manuals on how to find your place in life, love yourself and be happy. If you scroll through them all to the table of contents, the essence will come down to an approximately identical list of principles, which psychologists around the world talk about.

In order to love yourself, you need to not only understand, but also do simple things that help you become happier.

Boost your self esteem

Having high self-esteem and loving yourself is not exactly the same thing. You can be confident in all your actions and fully justify and support yourself, while being deeply repugnant to yourself. However, only a few are able to love themselves, while evaluating themselves extremely negatively. Both of these extremes border on mental deformation, so it is important to maintain a clear balance, as well as remember the difference between self-esteem and self-esteem.

Self-esteem means striving to be important to others and to feel better than you are, while self-esteem is a strict framework of what is permitted in relation to others and respect for oneself.

So, first of all, it is necessary to work on self-esteem. To do this, there is a wide selection of psychological exercises, the whole essence of most of which comes down to one plan:

• Reproach yourself less for mistakes;
• Ignore your flaws, especially external ones;
• Eradicate complexes;
• Evolve;
• Please yourself, give yourself compliments and gifts;
• Read inspirational books, watch life-affirming films, and communicate with positive people.

All this will help increase self-esteem, and with a good self-esteem, loving yourself will be much easier.

Turn on positive thinking.

In 1952, Norman Vincent Peale published his book, The Power of Positive Thinking, whose purpose was to help people with serious illnesses and various difficulties in life understand the relationship between "faith in the best" and a happy cure. And to this day, this book is published and reprinted: more than five million copies have been published in more than a dozen languages.

What is the power of positive thinking? The fact that thanks to this book at least several million people on the planet know for sure that the phrase “Believe in the best and the best will come” is not a joke. A positive attitude towards life really changes it for the better, giving strength not to give up before difficulties and go to the intended goal in the world and concord with oneself.

Of course, with low self-esteem, the first stick in the wheels will cause a complete loss of positive thinking. Therefore, it is necessary to work on these two things at the same time not to give in to difficulties and believe in yourself.

Focus on the positive

Thinking positively is important, but more importantly, focusing on the good. Get yourself a notebook in which note the most positive things that happen to you. Take photos of bright moments. Try not to write, tell or complain to anyone about bad events for a week, try to remember only the good.

Our problem is that if we focus on the bad, we leave the good behind. This gives up and we become disgusted with ourselves. It is in your hands to change this circumstance - renounce negativity. Pay attention only to those things that increase your self-esteem and cause joy from your own actions. So you will love yourself much faster than if you worry about every mistake or unpleasant incident.

Fulfill your desires

Remember your childhood, how others treated you: mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather. Everyone tried to please you, little one, to do something for you, to please something pleasant. Why did you stop doing this for yourself in adulthood? Maybe they too often heard the phrases: “You never know what you want there, you need this one” or “I also want a lot of things, will you kill yourself?” Or are you used to the fact that others love you, but they themselves have not learned?

In childhood, I wanted simple things in a different way: to run around the dew with bare heels, get a balloon with a heart, dress up in my mother’s shoes and curl in front of the mirror. In adulthood, we somehow avoid thinking about simple and natural desires, replacing them with duties that urgently need to be fulfilled.

Stop for a second, take a piece of paper and write down the three simplest desires that you want to fulfill today.

For example: eat ice cream, take a walk in the park, buy a new blouse. Even if there are no desires, invent them. The hormone of happiness that the body produces when fulfilling something conceived supports you in physical form and gives you not only external, but also internal beauty, which is much more important.

Do not compare yourself with others

Suppose the girl has a prettier dress and she smiles a little sincerely. Enviously? Perhaps. But in 1996, a certain Donald Featherstone was awarded the Shnobel Prize (yes, not the Nobel Prize) for inventing a plastic pink flamingo. Enviously? No? Why?

Because people are different. And comparing a passing girl in a couture dress with the inventor of pink plastic flamingos is illogical as well as comparing yourself to someone else. Each has its own pros, cons, priorities and skills. Everyone is proud of what he considers necessary and envies those whom he considers necessary, but it is unlikely that Donald Featherstone compared himself to a model from a show in Milan.

Evolve. But do not do this in order to surpass someone else, it may turn out that there was no one to replay. Develop in order to become better than you were before.

Encourage your success

Promotion is one of the main methods of raising both children and adults. Praising ourselves, even mentally, for successful accomplishments, we raise our self-esteem, and a little encouragement in the form of a pleasant trifle or a favorite treat at times increases the positive effect.

Use any moment to achieve success, even the smallest - it greatly improves mood and self-esteem. If you know that by making efforts you can do something for which you will be grateful to yourself, do it and be grateful to yourself. A smile will appear on your face, your eyes will sparkle in the mirror, and you will want to live a little bit stronger. Even simple homework: washed dishes, a cleaned room, a written verse or an article that has long been requested on the keyboard, will give you strength and joy - that which is vital in order to love yourself.

Do not scold yourself for failures

Let us give an example: Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol took and burned the second volume of Dead Souls. If we omit doubts about the very existence of the second volume and take for truth the assumption that he did this because he did not like the result, although he worked on it for quite some time, what remains? Millions of readers who, after a century and a half, regret that the magnificent work did not succeed.

Of course, we have already said that it is not worth comparing yourself with others, but the principle remains the principle: if something does not work out, you should not go to extremes, scold yourself for it and punish it. Everyone is mistaken. It does not work for everyone. But only wise and confident people can take failures philosophically, without focusing on them and without reducing their self-esteem.

Pause the world

Work, family, children, cleaning, cooking, ironing - in the hustle and bustle we often forget that there is always someone else who needs attention - we ourselves. There will always be urgent and important matters, urgent events and tasks of a global scale, trying to break between everyone is very easy to forget about yourself.

Pause at least once a day, small, and at least once a week, large. Get away from the whole universe with a cup of tea on the balcony or with your favorite bike in the park. Allow yourself not to think about anything, not to touch anyone, take time for yourself beloved and enjoy your company. This will help to understand yourself, relax and tune in a positive way.

Exercise

Everyone knows that scientists have proven that physical exercise improves efficiency. You will be surprised, but they also help to love yourself. And not only in the sense that a beautiful figure evokes joy and happiness, but also in the fact that morning exercises energize the whole day. Vigor helps to do important things, and success helps to love yourself.

Spend more time outdoors. Start running in the morning. Buy videos and once a week get out on the rollerdrome. Sign up for the gym. Movement activates the brain, concentrates the thought process and triggers the production of hormones of joy, and also improves health.

Surround yourself with people who make you better

If you have been trying to love yourself for a long time, and in spite of all the attempts, it does not work out well for you, then look around, maybe your environment is bothering you? Or is it simply not there?

Finding new friends is always a good idea, but finding new friends who will teach you new things and give you positive emotions is vital in order to understand and love yourself. It’s not always worth looking for friendships, go to seminars and courses, attend interesting events and listen to lecturers telling about the positive aspects of life. This will help you feel a little livelier and carry your thoughts into a new direction.

Take a step beyond your comfort zone

Think about what prevents you from loving yourself right now, especially if, in principle, everything suits you and you have achieved a lot, but you don’t feel much love for yourself.Maybe you’ve been on your own for your whole life, you have solved all the problems yourself and you always took all the responsibility, but sometimes you wanted to be a little girl and ride on a swing while someone is cooking dinner at home? Or vice versa, those around you consider you to be non-initiative, and you always wanted to try yourself as a leader?

Try putting yourself in a slightly different position. Slightly change the vector of your activity, unclench your fists or, conversely, get on your feet. This will not only shake you, but also make it clear what you really lack in order to achieve harmony with yourself.

Be yourself for yourself

If you have long wanted to change something in yourself, your appearance, behavior, thinking, why not do it. Just ask yourself the question first: why do you want to do this? Because you yourself want to, or because it seems to you that this way you will more like others?

Stop changing for others, change for yourself if you think it is necessary. The whole world around you will not notice if you change something in yourself. And if he does, he’s unlikely to appreciate it fully. Only one person will be grateful to you for this - you yourself.

Conclusion

Loving someone is much easier than loving yourself. Individually, all methods seem simple, but together they make up a long, complex and responsible process of working on yourself.

Perhaps, many can’t fall in love with themselves simply because it seems very complicated. However, everything becomes much easier if you understand a simple thing: with every step taken towards the desired inner harmony, it becomes much easier to go.